My Medium (A Kyrielle)

my thoughts always clutter my mind
guilty fears that I keep confined
there is no way to displace them
poetry lets me embrace them

I brood and dwell on each dark thought
collect them til I’m overwrought
write them down and then erase them
poetry lets me embrace them

my sentiments and memories
thoughts that plagued me like disease
I have found the strength to face them
poetry lets me embrace them

my writing’s best when it’s painful
bless my thoughts, though they are shameful
morbid thoughts, I love to chase them
poetry lets me embrace them

© By PollutedPoet

HAZE

My world is blurry and surreal
but I’m way to lost to care
Dazed in this hazy fog
bloodshot vision is unclear

Choking through this smog
I try to remain cautious
Searching for fresh air
I’m sickened and I’m nauseous

Why should I even care?
to breathe fresh air once more
since I engulfed myself in this haze
I forgot what the world was like before

Before I was stuck in this smoggy daze
I never appreciated fresh air
I never really acknowledged it
It was always just there

The air, I polluted it
because I didn’t care at all
This pollution can’t be reversed
It will choke me until I fall

Now my cloud is ready to burst
stress built up, I’m saturated.
Toxins struggle to leak out
but are stuck in this fog that I created

The pollutants. I try to let out
but they condense around me
I can never find any air
because this smog has found me.

This polluted haze around my brain
the cloud thickens and drives me insane
when will it rain?
When will I change?

Carina Fosse
15.09.2009

 

© By PollutedPoet

Across this Vast Ocean

Across This Vast Ocean Pt. 1

Across this vast ocean, my spirit is being snatched.
I’ve floated away, so alone and detached.

I’ve crossed this ocean in an effort to move foward.
Yeah, I’m on a path, but what’s that path headed toward?

Uncertainty has led me here and uncertainty draws me back.
My will keeps me here and it’s to late to retract.

There is an ocean between us cluttered with wreckage.
I tell you we can cross it but you never get the message.

This ocean is tremendous and I’m on the other side.
Crossing it may seem impossible, if you’ve never tried.

Carina Fosse
10102007

© By PollutedPoet

Armor

I can see through you
see through your lies
you put on so much armor
but it’’s no disguise
your secrets are buried under your flesh
to dig them up is your last wish
you never ask for pity
yet you shame yourself
ashamed of yourself
you never ask for help
the pain inside lingers like purgatory
unsettled and unresolved
an untold story

© By PollutedPoet On 10/20/2009 10:37:41 PM

I AM NOT DEAD (minute poem)

LET GO OF THE PAST, Plan ahead!

I AM NOT DEAD!

I am not stuck

I won”t give up

 

I need to move on, make things right

This is my fight…

life, defend it

I can”t end it

 

Stop telling myself that I am done

Change and become

Life is worth it!

I deserve it!

 

Carina Fosse

 

© By PollutedPoet On 11/18/2009 1:38:36 AM

I WANT IT ALL

I got something
but it’s not enough
I get nothing
but a tease and a touch

I don’t want everything
I wan’t it all
I ask for nothing
but I feel it call

I feel passion
I feel lust
but this strange desire
I most definitely can’t trust

Inspired, yet
sickened by my thoughts
wanting to come out
but don’t wanna get caught

Desire so strong
provoking my fears
erotic and wrong?
I’ve wanted it for years

Maybe I’m all messed up
maybe I need to feel alive
maybe all my desires
don’t need to collide

Offer it to me
Don’t make me decide
as strong as it is
I still haven’t tried

Carina Fosse
August, 2000

Stones

Stones

I know not to burn bridges,
but I still seem to clutter my paths
I know how to put out the fires,
but I’ll get stuck, knee deep in ash
Every mountain I climb
is just another stone
blocking my path
my path back home
Every bump I hit
I’ll bring it along
Every rock I carry
makes me strong
I pick up every pebble
every stone, every boulder
I just keep adding to the weight
the weight on my shoulders
every rock I pick up
keeps weighing me down
But I’ll never let them go
even if they make me drown
My collection of stones,
my past , my story
my tradegies and triumphs
my sadness, my glory
I’m attached to my stones
I treasure my collection
what every stone represents
I have no recollection
my stones are a part of me
I cannot deny
I’ll carry these stones
until the day I die
—Carina Fosse—
12.10.2008

Internet Infiltration

Internet technology is to agressive
mind polluting, controlling
dominating and paroling
obsessive

It can make you crazy and disturbed
leave you in agitated confusion
like a hallucinogen
perturbed

It is a dangerous linking of information
empowering thieves, burning feeds
cookies and seeds
infiltration

Fuck DADT!

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, Don’t Be, Don’t Exist, Lie!
Don’t share who are, just resist, Deny!
You can’t openly serve for our country, Why?

Don’t be open, go back in the closet!
Your not hetero enough to fight, where is the logic?
It makes no sense and it’s about time we stop it.

Your too gay to protect our nation,
This is brainless discrimination.
How exactly is sexuality relevant to a military situation?

You can’t be a soldier, because you’re too queer.
You can’t fight for our honor, choose a new career.
I can’t understand it, What exactly do they fear?

That you might spread gay cooties on the other army boys?
That you’ll be applying eyeliner when you batallion deploys?
That you’ll misuse your guns as anal sex toys?

This is absolutly ridiculous!
Let’s get rid of this.
This ignorant law is painfully ludicrous.

How many skilled technicians need to be discharged?
It’s a violation of civil rights, that we have fought for so hard.
Freedom is so important, please don’t disregard.

Our Army needs able troops, can’t they comprehend?
Because of ignorant fears, brave Americans can’t serve and defend.
Because of homophobia, our military is now weakened.

This law must be put to an end!

Carina Fosse

May 12th, 2009

My Dying Bride (inspiration from my favorite bands)

My Dying Bride (inspiration from my favorite bands)

It Lies Beneath, buried inside and waiting to Unearth
She’s Spawn from this Cradle of Filth and has been Enslaved since birth
she is a Lamb of God with a luminous beauty like Norma Jean
but when Shadows Fall, she’s Sick of it All and her Poison will not go unseen

A Life Once Lost, her Hollow spirit is lost in Mayhem
Disturbed and obsessed, she awaits her chance to kill HIM
a Slayer at heart, Underoath she swears revenge on her Sworn Enemy
God Forbid that her Arch Enemy lives, because dead he may as well be

She has Poisoned the Well and dropped him in the lake of the Children of Bodom
hung by a Slipknot, Torched and In Flames, his Dark Funeral will be chosen
My Dying Bride is evil inside and stirs in her own Kingdom of Sorrow
after Blood Has Been Shed, she regains Fuel and awaits The Scars of Tomorrow

from Autumn to Ashes, time slowly passes, but her Cold heart still stirs
after 10 years then August Burns Red the moment IT occurs
that moment in August that she chose her victim and It Dies Today
the Torch in her eye, Everytime I Die I realize that I am her prey

As I Lay Dying in Pain with my open soul Bleeding Through
I catch a Sublime glimpse of her smile and understand that she chose me too
she is already dead, she is my dark ArkAngel sent to me from above
my gothic beauty, My Dying Bride and I shall Rise Against and be eternally in love

Carina Fosse

11-03-09