Forever Altered (A Rondeau)

I am forever altered, I will never be the same
dirtied with disgust, forever plagued by shame
for 13 years, I have been polluted with this pain
13 years with this rage, trying to keep sane
13 years of scornful self blame

Knowing I’m just a victim of their blasphemous game
I still blame myself for what I became
their sins have penetrated and their sins remain
I am forever altered

unsettled disgust, the overpowering burden making me lame
a fueling anger that I still cannot tame
desperate to wash off the filth that has permeated like a stain
permanently damaged, degraded my soul, body and brain
I will never be rid of this revolting shame
I am forever altered

Carina Fosse
October 19th, 2009

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